Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
