Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
