You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
