You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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