ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
