Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
