Heybabeimwearingurpanties
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
