after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
