it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
