I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
