Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
