My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
