we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
