Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
