We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
