toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
