i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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