I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
