you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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