you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
