Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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