I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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