i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
