My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
