Im at strip club and am horny
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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