If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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