marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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