i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
