Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
