Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
cat food counts as protein by the way
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
