This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
