I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
