The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
