The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
