his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
