1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
