it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
