I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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