i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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