there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
