The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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