im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
