He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
