Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
