matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
