He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
