I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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