at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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