I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
