hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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